What your sleeping position says about your relationship

Do you spoon your partner or sleep on opposite sides of the bed? Two experts decode what your sleeping position really signifies about your relationship.

Have you ever wondered why your boyfriend would rather cuddle up to his teddy bear than you? Or do you sleep intertwined with your lover every night? When we sleep, our bodies are at their most honest and vulnerable, so nighttime could be the time we communicate things we wouldn’t say in the light of day.

Journalist, sleep counselor and author of The Well Rested Woman Janet Kinosian, says: “There's no 'best' position for sleep - one's sleeping position is like a signature -  and for couples it’s a personal connection between two people.”

A bedtime cuddle is important. Janet adds: “Physical contact of any kind is relaxing as people wind down from the tensions of the day. If you have a mate or partner and cuddle-up prior to sleep, it's something that can relax and also build and maintain intimacy between partners.

“Humans crave physical closeness and contact. It makes one feel safe and protected, which is important for good sleep.”
But what does the closeness between you and your partner at night say about the rest of your relationship? Janet, and psychologist Peter Spalton explain.


This is when couples sleep side-by-side, curled up with one another in the fetal position. It is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship.

Peter says: “This is a very loving position. It's the same as a back-to-front hug when he's standing at the sink doing the washing up and she comes up behind, putting her arms around him. It’s a sign of love and affection.”

“Spooning with the male behind traditionally signals a protective, traditional partnership,” says Janet. “The woman wrapping behind the man indicates a more nurturing female-driven relationship.”

Wrapped in each other’s arms


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Which Sleeping Position works for you? or for you and your Partner?