HE LOCKED ME OUT BUT WANTS TO MARRY ME. HELP!

Hello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on featurefriday@alocovivavoce.com.

Read the situation and my opinion after the cut. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!


Hello OUR,

My name is Alondra and I need your advice. About a year ago, I met a guy here in Nigeria. He lives abroad but we met during one of his long vacations and we hit it off almost immediately then started dating shortly after. Few months into dating, I got pregnant. Although he wanted me to keep the pregnancy, he wasn’t really bent on getting married just yet.

My mother on the other hand would not hear of it. She insisted that we should not welcome the idea of having a child outside wedlock. After a little bit of pressure from our parents, he finally went ahead and did the introduction to my family members stating that he was the one responsible for the pregnancy and has intentions to marry me in the near future.

This introduction finally put the mind of my mum to rest since we were on the right track leading to marriage.

My “fiancé” in the making, went back to work in his country of base while I remained here in Nigeria, PREGNANT!

Six months went by and it was time for me to travel abroad (a different country from his) to have my baby. After my baby was born, we stayed a few months then went over to the country where he resides to visit him so he can get a chance to see his newborn son.

(Please note that this time when my son and I went to visit him is the first time we both were not only living together but also staying in the same place for a long period of time).

It was during that visit that reality more or less hit me.

As time went on while we were living together, I realized that he not only had a really bad temper but he would get upset over the slightest thing and I had to brace myself for a few days before I speak to him or even ask him for a favor or for finances for our son.

This behavior was the exact opposite of the sweet and loving man I fell in love with back in Nigeria while we were dating.

His temper is so bad that there was one time he got very upset over pretty much nothing and locked my son and I out of his house on the streets. I had to go to a friend’s house to spend the night so my son doesn’t get exposed to the cold.

After that incident, it dawn on me that not only was he a BEAST but also completely inhumane and callous. As a result, I decided it would be better to live as a single mum than to endure another second of his torture and ill treatment.

That was until I returned back to Nigeria and heard the cries and pleas he had been raining down on my people even before my arrival. He says he is sorry and wants to go ahead with the marriage plans if I would have him.

The question now is WHAT DO I DO? My gut is telling me to walk away but then I’m currently unemployed and with a brand new baby. How do I take care of him and me too? But then my so called “fiancé” treats me so badly and frankly I’m only considering going back simply because of our son.

Please advise on what I should do. Walk away or go ahead with the marriage? I need your help!

Click on the link below to read my reply

http://alocovivavoce.com/2015/10/16/my-husband-locked-my-son-i-out-of-the-house-help/